Monty Pynchon

By popular request, here is the infamous first sentence(s).  

First off, one needs to understand Monty Python and the funny walk skit.

Secondly, one needs to have had a brush with the Crying of Lot 49 or Gravity’s Rainbow, by Thomas Pynchon.

Thirdly, one must know about the attraction of lightning to metal things.

And D: One must have a basic knowledge of the mysteries of acupuncture and clown shoes.

 

This is not a Danielle Steele book.

 

Monty Pynchon got hit by lightning on his tongue stud and began walking funny. The electricity apparently took an acupunturesque path and left his mouth unharmed. But his feet, to this day, flop like a clown wearing absurdly huge shoes.