There is a new power surging through me driven by the contradiction of fault and contrition, hope and conviction. I felt a resolution last night to finally replace the agony of regret. Perhaps it was sleep, perhaps it was pills, perhaps it was the many calls and visits from concerned friends. But it’s finally hitting me. I am loved and adored by legions more than hate and despise me. I’ve had friends who live in different states come to call on me and bring me Starburst, take-out and sports magazines. I’ve had friends take days off from work just to sit on my bedside and talk to me. Dave drove an hour-and-a-half just to bring me a Diet Pepsi. Christine sent me a great card offering me chicken soup. Marc called to talk NCAAs and sent baseball emails, knowing it will cheer me up. Jeffrey gave me a hug and unprecedented kindness and encouragement. Kathleen checked up on me everyday and finally called Selma for me to help me heal. Cathy made me feel at ease for taking time off by with such reassuring words. Linda has been a doll with her fun conversations. Nancy gave me perspective and some great blog comments. Heather makes me laugh by calling me an old man with dog breath. And Tom took note of my situation and wants it to help him spread his own brand of literary kindness.
The only thing that feels neglected and lonely in this place is my shower. I think it’s time I spent some quality time there.
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