Curling Irony

I'm watching XX Winter Olympic Games Curling. How suck is that? There is literally nothing else on. See, this is why I don't actively watch the tele. If I could make up my own Winter Olympic event, it would be Interpretive Bobsledding. Or maybe Bumper Bobsledding. Two teams start at opposite ends of a 10,000 foot track, do all the twisty turns and accelerate to 100 MPH or whatever, then the finish line is in a giant clear Habitrail tube where horrific collision is inevitable. Tell me that wouldn't be cool. Whoever ends up with the most limbs wins.