What would it take for me to drown myself in pills and booze now? Nuthin. I have all I need of both to do the job soundlessly. I have the balls to do it. The question is, do I have the balls NOT to do it. Yes. I have the balls to do a few dishes, feed, Lefty, tidy up the living room and call it a night. I have a thread of hope for the new year and I'll be damned if I let that thread go. The easy thing is to not wake up tomorrow. The hard thing is to wake up for the next 40 years. I'll take the hard way. I like a good fight.
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