Downloading Gravity

I.

I’m so out of control I think no one knows

My secrets from page to page, day to day

My ears are bleeding it’s kitchen clanging loud

Another dust up, never fessed up, ever messed up

Weather the feathers tickling biblically on my bleeding

Catastrophic limbic system

claustrophobic sympathetic nervous system

No room to breathe that catatonic breath I take

in a half-a-heartbeat I see layers of lives deep in your glint of Me.

Your goddamn fucking glint of me.

 

The incredible combination, indelible calculation perfect perfect concentration

With out even thinking all my sins scene

Everything ever wanted, kept, dreamt, meant to make me wanna feel like this

For for oh oh so long

Before I know it I’m waking up and another half-a-heart beat booms true

See you ever after happy never faster why

Is this not like church or rather should I say why is church not like this 

Forever altered I want to fix you.

 

Shadows and light shuffling together in tight slats sifting

Beams of you and dreams of you how many more heartbeats can I keep on the

Edge of this pin.

 

Please please don’t go please I need you I’m sorry I love you I’ll never do it again why do I do this every time why is there always ever only one left I’m thinking about you even now,

the gravity of it all.

 

Thought it was parachutes.

 

I swear please see me in old light not beseeching but betrothed my betrothed golden goddess melting as I inch closer always half way leaves another half way ever after time curling yes god’s golden ratio.

 

Gravity does not stop you gravity is weak it’s a different kind of electricity that makes possible my elasticity.

 

Now I’m gaining momentum I always tell myself that when I get too close to everything I want should just stay deep down stay away fate at bay every day ok

hey hey hey I’m the monkeys I can hear you looking at me when you’re talking to me staring straight ahead.

 

Another heart beat bleeding woe of ever so many glancing chances just seeing if you’re paying attention you always are that’s how I know we like each other because we’re never not paying attention to each other especially when we’re not paying attention to each other and forget about it when we are paying attention to each other it’s the goddam most easiest thing to spot in the world every one has given notice.

Read that again it’s clever ever after cause I’m a wise ass with a bit of class at an impasse

so I reach for my bottle of nyquila and drugs that begin with ex and end with x marks the spot where I am with cigarettes slow camera angle pulls back slow from your gaze see you looking ever elsewhere this atom smashing moment begins to end ever end and in the time that it has taken me to think this splinter of an instant you arc out in front of me in ever blossoming waves of silken white sheets to hosannas bleeding golden blood that I will forever leave to you as gravity glides me away.