WWJDD?

Woke up at the crack of 10, crawled out of bed, had a pee boner, wizzed like a maestro, put on sneakers and a baseball cap and went around the corner to the dry cleaners.

Got out of the car and immediately there was a dude asking me if I was ready for the game tonight. I was all like, “What the F U talkin’ bout, be-atch?” Then I realized I was wearing a Red Sox cap AND the Red Sox are playing in the WORLD SERIES tonight. I managed to stop my brain-to-mouth reaction fast enough to simply say, “Yup.” That's what Johnny Damon would do. Confidence ain’t easy.

While waiting in line at the dry cleaners, I chatted up a grandmom with six kids and 12 grand children. “You must be very happy and relieved,” she said. I was all like, “How’d you know I had a wicked pee boner?” Then I realized I was wearing a Red Sox baseball cap. Again, the brain-to-mouth reaction kicked in. “Yup,” I said. That's what Johnny Damon would do. Confidence is grace.

I’m all decked out in clothing I got from ESPN the Magazine subscriptions. I have on the fleece, sweats, and a kicking pair of Nike’s. The cashier at the Rite-Aid was all chatting me up as I purchased a gallon of water, a NY Daily News, two packs of Jolly Rancher chewies and a pack of Newports. “You going for it tonight?” she asked. I was all like, “With a combined purchase like this, howcould I not be?” Again, the Red Sox cap thing. I was just all, “Yup.” That's what Johnny Damon would do. Confidence is practical.

I learned this morning that chicks dig guys who wear clothing gained from magazine subscriptions, as long as you look like hell, are picking up at least $50 worth of dry cleaning, there is a Dunkin Donuts in the same plaza as the dry cleaners, and you’re wearing the baseball cap for a WORLD SERIES team. Helps if you’re casually drinking orange juice and buying a huge cup of coffee. Epiphanies, revelations, flashes of brilliance. This, today, was mine. Confidence is fun. Time to feed Lefty. That's what Johnny Damon would do.

Let's go Sawks.

(PK is very happy today.)