I never voted for Ronald Regan.
But he was by far the most enduring and evident presence, public and political, during the as thus far very best years of my life. In the shadow of his conservatism, I lived and grew up and got busted like never before and feared war and went to high school and college. I learned about the political process not from professors, but from the gallantly talented actor on TV. To this day I am complicity learned - if not always effective - in the vital importance of effective communication. This is nostalgia in action. This is the reintroduction of a past we will again willingly endure this week. This month. This year.
Me? For the sake of the 80's, I will again listen to The Cure. And The Smiths who hated Thatcher, and The Minutemen who redundantly hated you if you had matching shoes on at the same time, and X, who were in L.A. when we were in Asbury Park. And Nebraska, the series of songs that tells it all.
I worked in a nursing home throughout my college years. I was a maintenance man. I tarred roofs, changed light bulbs, planted flowers, delivered laundry, conveyed mass meals on a station wagon tail gait over speed bumps, dumped garbage, jump started dead batteries, shoveled snow, landscaped, wheeled paraplegics, drank beer, weeded gardens, made friends, sweated, froze, broke my nose, and walked into inexplicably invisible spider webs in wide open land. I did homework, got A’s and B’s and D’s, drove a truck and wore flannel like Cobain before Cobain was Cobain. I painted buildings pale with southern exposure a fresher shade of white. I ran generators and destroyed wasp nests. I mowed 45 degree inclines of weed and gravel. Got bit by a poisonous spider.
I saw the ravage of age. I saw the indescribable sadness of Alzheimer’s first hand. The blank stare, the loss of capacity for deliberate movement, the drooling, the incontinence.
My plea to God tonight is that all who die from that desolate of a disease have their happiest memories returned 10-fold upon the blink of entrance to the gates of whatever comes next. I never voted for Ronald Regan. I do vote for him in this way, and for all who fade with him, today and everyday.
2 comments:
This is really wonderful and again, your writing talent & keen introspect are showing. I never liked Reagan and despite all the current nostalgic hype about him, I really don't think he was THAT good of a Prez. But I feel bad for anyone who has to suffer the way he did. I'll accept surrendering my body to disease, but please don't take my mind. ¤Holly
I saw the effects of Alzheimer’s en mass while working at the nursing home. 30 people in one building without the benefit of even yesterday’s memory. Too sad to even discuss further.
Post a Comment